Anyway, until later...bye...dml
This is a quick Life summary, cut from another location:
My first job was at the Cold Spring Brewing Company, where I got paid enough to pay for most of my college expenses to work in the brew-house, making beer and cleaning up afterward. What I remember most about it is swimming in the brewing kettle to cool off after a hot day of working!
During that job...I went to and graduated from St. Cloud State College (after "Tech High School")... I got married and drafted in 1970...returned from the US Army military service in Italy in 1972...took classes at SCSU and worked for Stearns County court system... I moved to MSP area in 1973 and worked for Control Data Corporation... I got divorced in 1982...remarried in 1985...changed work in 1987 when I started work with the National Weather Service... I was a Computer Specialist and then a Hydrologist / Computer Specialist until 2004...At that time, I went west to Montana in March 2004 to work for the Department of Homeland Security as a Transportation Security Officer with the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) part-time...worked at the Kalispell, Montana airport ... retired 01/2007 ... Now, most of my time is spent at the Lipinski Boorman Creek Ranch...have animals: dogs, cats, and horses...work doing the ranch chores, run a couple of marathons a year, bike, hike, take photographs, and continue to do some computer dabbling with some weather computer software applications ... that's it!
So...if you would like to find out more about what is going on for me -- Try Google. Look for L'Softworks Limited -- that's my computer weather software site. And, heck, while you are at it order a couple of programs! I'll keep in touch that way. Another major blog site where I have information every day at Wunderground. Just look for "bionicdan" there. You'll find me. Leave some comments there, too. I like that! If you really want to get in touch with me, I'm around somewhere.
Otherwise, we'll just have to keep in touch through cards, letters, and normal people contacts.
Going back in history ... I've gone back to find some other writings that I did in "another life" it seems. These were during times where what I sometimes think of as my "inner voice" came out in something I wrote. Some make little sense ... and maybe some say a lot ... anyhow, here they are.
In Another Life ... I Played Guitar
November 7, 2002
The Tired Mind
The tired mind is interesting to explore.
Much like a mind after a terrible time.
It seems to work at finding a way
To tell what is inside, unknown most times.
Some stresses cause unexpressed
thoughts to show
In ways not usually used for them.
So it would seem with the tired mind.
Though not affected by usual things
Unwinds these thoughts when able to
As it has tonight now done.
dml - November 7, 2002
Another day, another time, it would have been me.
But now, it doesn't seem to be me anymore.
I am here, but I'm not, it seems I'm somewhere else.
I'm thinking, but no thought is here, I'm not.
The thoughts connect to nothing anywhere.
So where am I, if not where I think I should be?
I seem to be out of place, if I am anywhere at all.
It seems I'm not expecting to be where I am.
There are thoughts, as though at times,
I have lived before.
A dream, or just the mind, where it goes alone.
And it seems I am, but I'm not.
dml - November 7, 2002
So where did I go?
And how did I get here?
I was somewhere else,
But now I am here.
I don't seem to recall the path I took.
Maybe it wasn't a path.
Just a way to go.
Not blocked, not marked.
But it went somewhere.
And now I'm looking back,
And see no tracks.
Just places where I was while getting here.
dml - November 7, 2002
I don't write anymore, it seems.
I used to think, and write, often.
But now, I don't seem to.
I'm in a loop, that seldom shows.
Because it is closed around me.
So the things I think, and write,
Now don't appear very often, if ever.
The loop protects the inside, from the out.
And the inside stays, unknown to most.
A protection, which sometimes is too strong.
And can keep the inside in, and the outside, out.
When the good is out, and the pain is in
The loop must stop, and open again.
If the loop is protecting, it cannot end.
But if not protecting, it must then.
To let the outside in, and the inside out.
dml - November 7, 2002
October 26, 2002
Life Is Each Day
Life continues to show me it is a surprise.
When you think everything is under control
Something can happen that you would never know.
As it was hidden or disguised from you in some way
That kept you unaware of it, until that day.
When chance, it seems caused something to change.
And from that day on, your life is rearranged.
It might be good, or it might be bad.
And sometimes you'll be happy, other times sad.
But it's these surprises that make life what it is.
And dealing with change is what you do.
Adjusting as needed to see yourself through.
You might turn a path that leads a new way.
For that is how living life is each day.
dml - October 26, 2002
What is the force that makes me want
To be here even when it is only me?
It's not that I'm running or escaping some dread.
No thoughts of hiding enter my head.
But something about it being just me.
(Except for a dog), that's what it would be.
It keeps me returning, trip after trip.
Just wanting to be here...solo.
Mostly saying nothing.
At times thinking, or not even that.
Doing things as they need it or not.
A mind mostly at peace, if without a thought.
dml - October 26, 2002
April 9, 2001
It seems I'm caught in a loop again and cannot easily step out of it.
Yesterday was an above average day in most ways it would seem.
Then the feeling turned suddenly negative.
It is at that time I get the desire to
Sort of a "It's a Good Life" wish.
It wouldn't be fair though to be able to see how things would have been.
Because after all, if I was never there to begin with, I wouldn't know anything.
So it would be just dissolving, never being.
I don't know why I get this feeling.
It seems to come too often.
I get by with small amusements and doing things.
But flip suddenly into another mood.
I have this strong emotion in me.
I want to feel important or useful or satisfied.
Instead, I just let myself think,
And never get the emotion filled.
It seems to be an endless replay.
I'm rehearsing for future conversations with him, or her, or them, or me.
And it ends up consuming all my thought powers, so nothing happens.
The scene never gets presented, the act is not played.
And then my thoughts
dml - April 9, 2001
February 4, 2000
Closed ... That's It!
The talk was talked.
The unsaid was said.
Emotions were stoic, not emotions at all.
Truth, unbelieved, might as well have been not spoken.
But true it was, and out loud this time.
How often rehearsed the script seemed to be,
But when the time went real, the script was lost.
Now, as is said, it's over, it's done.
Feeling no more empty, since empty is gone.
And gone for too long cures all the feeling.
A life that is full in most every way,
But lacking one part that was closed today.
So closed is this life of parts that don't fit.
Time to forget, time to move on, that's it!
dml - February 4, 2000
November 14, 1999
What If This is the Last Time…
I have the feeling of being in love
I hold someone as we dance
I give a hug
I get a hug
I see a sunset
I go on a walk
I am at the cabin
I sit by the fire-pit
I smoke a stinky cigar
I say I love you to someone.
dml – November 14, 1999
To mtm ... too close
October 17, 1999
Listen I said.
He didn't listen.
Listen I repeated.
He still talked.
Listen, please, listen.
But talk continued.
I sadly left.
I sat alone.
I continued listening.
I cried alone.
Thinking, wondering, listening.
All became quiet.
While I listened.
A light appeared.
I wasn't alone.
Now two listened.
I felt better.
Words shared listening.
No longer alone.
Later I talked.
Listen was requested.
I didn't listen.
I kept talking.
Not listening then.
I'm listening now.
Hearing only silence.
Nothing being said.
Perhaps too late.
Now alone again.
I wonder silently.
Listen, please, listen.
I sadly wait.
dml - October 17, 1999
October 16, 1999
I Wonder Why
I wonder why I still think about certain things.
I wonder why, I suppose, if you wonder too.
I wonder why it hasn't gone away.
I wonder why, if everything is okay.
I wonder why there seems nothing I can do.
I wonder why, as days pass, do I still have some yearnings?
I wonder why I can't find a feeling of closure.
I wonder why I was never able to forget.
I wonder why I continue to feel this regret.
I wonder why, and search within, still not sure.
I wonder why as the air changes from warm and now stings.
I wonder why and if all of life will become dark and cold.
I wonder why as I look into a fire.
I wonder why I don't feel the warmth.
I wonder why I don't feel anything.
I wonder why, if everything has already been told.
dml - October 16, 1999
September 21, 1999
The process named healing is given the time
It takes to erase the pain you might have
From something experienced, such as a loss, or event,
Which changed a normal time to one unexpected.
But what if the time seems to have stopped?
Does this mean the pain will never be cured?
Is there something to be done to restart the clock?
What should this be, if no clues are heard?
Now, I'd like more than ever to turn back the clock
Or at least somehow wind it, to cause it to run.
But, I'm stopped at each turn, as I search for a key.
Something that could correct, or restart time, for me.
I'm not sure what to expect, but I look for some kind of sign
To show me that now I can count on the time
To begin to pass, again, as it should.
To heal, to cure, to bring a future that's good.
Until the time restarts, and I begin to feel
I fear that what's hurt, around me, never will heal.
dml - September 21, 1999
August 7, 1999
My mind continues to think
I'm not sure why it matters.
The words weren't even spoken.
As these days other forms express
The thoughts people used to share
When they would meet face to face.
I know the hopes were just day dreams
And they were only in my mind.
Now that you have read those thoughts
It is though I've forever lost something.
Even if it would always have been impossible
In my mind, they gave me hope, which now is gone.
I should have kept them there.
Never to be exposed.
Never to be known.
They would have hurt no one.
And been there in my mind
To make me feel good when I thought them.
dml - August 7, 1999
August 1, 1999
More Than Friends
So what does it mean, to be more than friends?
Do you give up something you'd rather keep?
Are you forced into doing something you hate?
Does someone else get less, because more is for you?
Strict physics, with numbers, which all must add up
Would lead you to believe this, surely, is true.
But not if the more is generated, from inside of you.
For if you have created the more from within
It means that you've added something all new.
It didn't come from outside, through anyone's loss.
When you're more than friends, if you have a thought
You want to remember it, to share it, with someone, again.
When you're more than friends, if something you see
Is special to you, then it is special to them.
When you're more than friends, you share all these things.
Without even thinking about why or why not.
That's what it means to be more than friends.
So, if being more than friends, is too hard for you,
Then being less, is what you need to do.
Even if it means less happens for someone else too.
dml – August 1, 1999